George W. Bush...the early years!

"The Shock and Awe of Music or The von Rummy Chronicles"
(The hills are alive with the sound of propaganda.)

George, a postulate in a Texas abby is distracted from his religious duties by the majestic Texas landscape and his restless, passionate spirit. The Mother Abbess Barbara, believing that George's buoyant personality may be incompatible with monastic life, wisely sends him away to discover his true calling in Washington.

George is to be the governess for the von Rummy family, a brood of seven neocon brats helmed by Captain von Rummy, a widowed Reaganite who educates his children with military discipline. While the children behave well before their father, once out of his sight they are incorrigible conservatives, determined to make their governess George miserable. George quickly learns that he is merely the latest in a long line of governesses scared away by the neocon brats antics.

"The Sound of Shock and Awe"
(A few months later in Ozraq)

As we once again look into the joyous life of George II, the now experienced Texas postulant, who has taken over the household helm of the ever rowdy 7 neocon children of Captain von Rummy, who has left for Vienna to further irritate the denizens of Old Europe.
After the Captain leaves, George conceives the idea of making playclothes for the children from the castoff robes of the soon-to-be replaced Supreme Court justices, and resumes joyously singing "A Few of My Favorite Thingamajigs."

Since Captain von Rummy has left for Vienna, George ignores his strict orders. Instead of keeping the neocons at home, he takes them on tours of the city and surrounding red states and green zones. The children accompany George to town, each wearing matching clothing from the judges robes. They cross a footbridge and visit the open market for shopping, where George juggles ripe Texas grapefruit. The happy group skips along the banks of the Tigris river, ride a train up into the Ozraq Alps, where they experience an air strike and bombardment picnic on the verdent grassy area of the Green Zone decorated with a colorful banner proclaiming,
"Mission Accomplished", draped in front of a magnificent panorama of beautiful peaks brightly lit up with napalm and burning palaces.

To prepare for the Baronness' arrival, he teaches the neocons how to sing, beginning by giving a name to the fundamental notes of the scale, "Do-Re-Mi." "Do" for dough, pallets full of dough. "Re" for re-elect me please. And "Mi" for military might makes right...
Captain von Rummy returns from Vienna with guests in tow: his glamorous love interest, Baroness NeoCondoleezza and enterprising family friend/chaperone, Karl "don't Plame me" Rove.

The Captain is far from amused when he arrives home to find his children and their governess soaked to the skin, having tumbled out of a canoe into the lake in their excitement to see him. After immediately ordering the children inside to clean up and get back into their uniforms of desert camos, he confronts fraulein George about the play clothes and the childrens' extra- curricular activities like climbing trees. George, in turn, proceeds to tell the Captain a few things about his children that he is never home long enough to notice. For instance, their developing taste for MRE's and cleverly planting IEDs about the castle garden areas, creating havoc among the Captain's garden staff and pet swans!

Angered at George's outspokenness, Captain von Rummy dismisses George and orders him to return to the Texas abbey. In the silence that follows his pronouncement, the Captain hears gunfire coming from the house and goes inside to investigate. Astounded to discover his children singing"The Sound of Shock and Awe" for the Baroness NeoCondi, the Captain is moved to join them, and over the course of the song, the estranged family reconnects through the music and by taking target practice at the already shocked and awed staff and swans.
Catching a glimpse of George in the doorway and aware that he has surely seen the Captain's hand up the back of the Baroness' dress and grateful to him for bringing music and gunplay back into his house, Captain von Rummy changes his mind about dismissing him and asks George to stay for another 4 years.

Unfortunately, upon hearing the rumor of George's sacking and imminent return, the Mother Abbess Barbara gathered all the abbey's heavy silver candlesticks, stone statues of saints and bundled up copies of The National Review that she could find; tied them around her neck, struggled to the banks of the Rio Grande and hurled herself into the river, sinking with barely a bubble to mark the spot.

Armed with a belt-fed light machine gun and a better understanding of Captain von Rummy's intentions toward the Baroness NeoCondi, George continues on with the family, redefining his governess role to include the task of preparing the children for writing a new constitution while field stripping and reassembling the light machine gun.

Under George's tutelage, the von Rummy children's musical talents expand to include puppeteering, as demonstrated by the marionette show they put on for Uncle Karl, the Baroness and their father. The children put their hands up the puppets' backsides and cause them to perform all manners of wonderous tricks, much like Uncle Karl was soon to do with George.

The children next add light rapping and break dancing to their repertoire as demonstrated when they sing goodnight to their father's guests at the grand and glorious party Captain von Rummy gives to introduce the Baroness to his beltway cronies: "So long, Farewell, Auf weidersehen, Yo mamma, Goodnight."
"There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall and bells in the steeple too.
And up in the nursery an absurd little bird is popping out to say cuckoo.
Regretfully they tell us, but firmly they compel us, to say goodby to you..."
And so the merry band of neocons and their fearless leader George cavorted for 4 more years in the land of Ozraq, while successfully continuing to convince their followers that..."Yes indeed Ozraq was the yellow brick road to untold riches for all and a Hummer in every pot."

Check back soon for further adventures...Dick Cheney as Jabba the Hut, Rummy as Chewbacca and George II as the young Luke Skywalker!

Morning hike on Big Bald

A beautiful morning and a chance to hike the new and improved Big Bald portion of the Appalachian Trail. Just completed, this new route to the top is a bit longer but considerbly eaiser to hike and offers better views along the way than did the old trail.

The Mountain Blog

Day One